Scrambled Egg

I feel like I'm being pushed this way and that.

My mom gives me advice on how to audition for talent contests
My dad gives me advice on going back to school
My cousins set me up on blind dates in order to snag myself a husband
My aunts give me advice on how to become more religiously devoted
My networking contacts advise me on the best way to begin a career
My friends advise me on the newest wine to get through it all (and which will help me sleep, they swear).
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My brother gives me "harsh-love" lectures on how I should combine the top 5 and just get it together.

Easier said than done. But, I do all of these things.

I apply on the websites they tell me to apply for
I try to attend church every sunday
I use my good makeup and attend the family, social gatherings with feigned positivity (but, hey I'm there right?)
I have saved drafts of emails for potential recommenders for schools and programs I have no clue which to try for
I go to lunch with the people who know these people who know those people, etc. etc.
And, yes, I am absolutely tasting the wine.
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Truth is: I'm a scrambled egg.

I was cracked and spilled onto a burning pot (we will call it life), and then people take different turns at the spatula and start tossing me this way and that.

Half of the time I don't ask for advice, but rather, I plead for patience on everyone's behalf to allow me to unscramble myself and become a whole, hard egg again. From broken relationships, to broken careers, to broken friendships, to broken family ties---common word: broken. Hence, me, myself, the broken egg.

I have constant headaches bc my brain is full with all of the best ways, remedies for this for that bc it worked for someone who knew someone it worked for, if not they themselves. But my life will work itself out on its own. The way everyone else's did. And, I will never advise another person later in the future to do it the way I did it. Because, quite frankly, I'll never really know how it'll all fit together in the end. And, when it does, I don't think I'll remember the strategies for how I ended up there. I do know, that grease, a hot pan, an over pour of salt and pepper and a spatula are not the ingredients needed for a well-mixed life. I will never take my turn at the scrambling for someone else.

The funny thing behind all of this: I don't even eat eggs.